What is the cure for a red nose?

The holy grail of a cure for a red nose was discussed regularly in the nineteenth-century newspaper and periodical press. The magazine The Queen in 1864 offers a response to a reader’s enquiry:

A red nose. – “Zateline” has much pleasure in forwarding “Ada” a remedy for the cure of a red rose. A teaspoonful of calcined magnesia in a little water to be taken after each meal (or, perhaps, twice in the day would be sufficient to commence with). The above was prescribed for a lady who had consulted numerous physicians without experiencing any good effect, while through this simple remedy she very shortly entirely recovered her looks. “Zateline” will be very glad to hear whether the result proves satisfactory in “Ada’s” case.

The Queen, 12 March p. 213

  In response to a string of questions from “Jeannette”, about how to obtain a “sweetheart”, how to address a letter to a young gentleman who is merely an acquaintance, and others of this sort, the London Miscellany of 1866 responded curtly to her request “Could you give me a cure for a red nose?”: “We are very sorry for you, but we can’t.” In the tone of the day, the journalist ends the reply with:

Your question about the powders we don’t intend to answer. Your handwriting is beautiful.

London Miscellany, 26 May 1866, p. 256

  The debate about the best treatment for a red nose was clearly not resolved. It continued through the end of the nineteenth century and into the twentieth. The English Mechanic of 1898 prints another plea for assistance:

Red Nose. – Could any reader recommend a cure for a red nose? I have been suffering from this disfigurement for a few years, but have never tried anything for it. I am 21 years of age, and am a total abstainer. My nose is generally cold, which gives me the impression that it is a weak constitution. I should be much obliged for a remedy. – Disfigured.

English Mechanic 18 February 1898, p. 21

  The popular press answers the question about the cure for a red rose from a medical angle (as a cure for rosacea or some similar condition), though the last correspondent noted that he or she was a “total abstainer”. Joyce takes the more literary allusion to a red nose, caused by drinking. The Irish Independent of 26 September 1916 took a similar line (curiously close to Joyce in context: see also adelite - a delightful colour word?):

The Edible Chestnut. A good story, like a good truth, never died. Capping a recent paragraph a reader reminds me of a man who sought a cure for a red nose, and was advised to drink on and it would soon turn blue.

John Simpson